Sunday, September 23, 2012

Postponed.

I was hoping and hoping that I would not have to write this post but life took an unfortunate turn and now I must.

Yesterday, September 22nd, my Grandpa Sonny lost his battle to cancer.

It hurts my heart to even write these words. The shock as still not subsided.

I have spent the past two days surrounded by close family and friends. The love and support is what helps us go throughout the day as normal as possible.

September has officially become one of the worst months of the year for me. Yesterday my Grandpa Sonny left us and tomorrow marks two years since my Grandpa Jerry also passed away from cancer.

I know I told y'all I would write a post about cancer and how it has affected my life but at this fragile time it will have to wait. As will my t-shirt quilt tutorial. Trav was working nights all weekend and it would have been the perfect time to do it but plans changed that were out of my control. I will work on it this week to help keep myself busy.

Cancer absolutely sucks and we all know that. I feel bad for anyone that has to go through this. It is a horrible thing and I wish we could all live forever.

Goodbye is hard. But I do believe with my heart that it doesn't mean forever. I believe, well I want to believe, that there is a place where I will one day see my beautiful mom, my corky grandpa Jerry and my loving grandpa Sonny. My heart is aching to see their faces just one more time. To hear their laughter. to hear and to say the words  "I love you".

Life is unfair. Ok, cliche I know, but sometimes it just feels like the universe is working against you.

You know what? Let's just be totally cliche.

When it rains, it pours. Everything happens for a reason. Every cloud has a silver lining. God never gives us more than we can handle. Yada yada yada.

I know that life will not stop. I know that Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every other day will be different for the rest of our lives. It's the fact. It's truth. And it is what hurts the most.

I have learned the lesson of "life is short" many times in my 24 years on this Earth and now I will share with you my advice. Plenty of my friends have heard these exact words come out of my mouth.

Life is to short to be unhappy. Happiness is the greatest thing you can have in life. No matter what brings you happiness. You should do what you love, what makes you happy, and what makes you want to wake up everyday. This goes for any situation. An unhappy job,an unhappy relationship, an unhappy place in your life. Anything that causes you sorrow, regrets, or what ifs should be erased from your life.

I know that erasing cancer is impossible and we must live with the outcome of what this horrible disease does but we must also realize that our loved ones would not want us to be unhappy.

Grieving never stops and not a day goes by that you don't think of loved ones you have lost but you must live your life and make the most of it. Make the people in your life proud and be the rock and support to the people around you.

Not having a Grandpa on either side of my family hurts. It hurts really bad but I know that just because a life was taken, I shouldn't chose to not live mine. You never know when it will end.

I am not saying go live your life and be YOLO bat-shit crazy. I am saying find your place in the world that makes you happy.I have tried a long time to find this spot and I can honestly say that I am here now. And I know that my Grandpa is proud of me. I know he would be disappointed if I gave up. So I shall continue in the path of happiness and I shall take his memory with me everywhere.

Memories become a part of us that we will never forget. I write on this blog and in my journal so I will always have my memories that I can go back and read for years to come.

Well I am done ranting and raving and I promise to you, my loyal readers, that next week will be back on track.

Thank you so much for reading a piece of my life. It means so much to me.

I will work on my new vlog tomorrow and maybe possibly my How-to.

I will also be adding two fall wreathes to my Etsy store. Be sure to check it out. I am still taking orders for the Halloween wine glasses also.

Again, thank you everyone for stopping by!

here is a picture of my Grandpa and I last summer at his benefit.
We will miss him so much!
 
love.
 
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2 comments:

  1. Hey love. Sorry about your grandpa. :( prayers out to your family and if you need anything, please let me know. Love you so much. :)

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